It seems only fitting that I write a post/rant about applying for jobs, since that is ultimately my life now.
1. No graduate recruitment company, I do not want to be a graduate recruiter…I’m struggling to get my own job, how can I help some other desperate grad find out that their only vocation in life will be recruitment (or headhunting if I want to lure them into thinking they will behave less like pond-life when actually they will be the most algae-like of the recruitment sector but will earn lots more for it)? And how are there so many jobs in recruitment when there are so few jobs recruiting for workers…I’m adamant that there are more people in recruitment than there are jobs to recruit for! And, yes, I know ‘all’ the jobs are in London, but when I sign up for jobs in Sheffield, I don’t want to know about the ones in the capital..or Hong Kong for that matter (this has happened! And I can tell you, there are wonderful prospects for English grads there!).
2. I remember being told at High School to choose a ‘broad subject’ rather than anything specific as employers will prefer this, they can mold you, they will like this, you will find a job quickly, and you will be successful, and rich, and probably happy most/some of the time. All of the above is utter tosh. Funnily enough, the Journalism and Marketing jobs I’m applying for find that ‘writing skills are desirable’ (“scoreeeee” I think, if BA English boasts anything this is it!), however, ‘a Journalism/Marketing degree is essential’. I’d call that specific. Thanks High School teachers, thanks alot.
3. “You can just stay at home, darling. We can go to The Tank Museum and up that big hill where we all had that argument about how big the hill was that time and have nice dinners and drink wine, and I’ll look after you.”. Fantastic, Dad. That’s brilliant. I would truly love this. But I would also like to be a proper person. You know those grown up types. With lives, and jobs and homes, and dollar. Because as much as I love the food and the vino and the Dr Who nights..that.is.all.I.will.have….and I’ll be looking forward to it all day, whilst you’re at work, working, and earning money, and having a life and being a real grown-up person with dollar. I want this too. Then we’ll talk wine 🙂
4. Have you thought about taking a year out? Gain some experience? See some culture? Make some friends? Let your hair down!
Now, I would LOVE this. Trekking around Tailand, Sunbathing in Spain, Canoeing by the Cape, Partying in Peru, I want it. But sadly just because I can’t get a job and thus have oodles of time on my hands, it doesn’t mean I have the/any money to spend on filling this time. You see people seem to love ‘money doesn’t grow on trees you know’ when you’re a pesky child wanting a Wendy House (yes, it still hurts that I never got one) but once you resemble a proper person on the outside (but are obviously a poor and panicked student on the inside) other proper people assume you actually do have one of these money trees at the bottom of the garden. Which makes me wonder, do they actually have them? Did my seeds get lost in the post? AND, where is my Wendy House!?
5. You’ve left student accommodation. You want to buy Heinz not Tesco Away Kit. You want to throw that bread away after a week rather than three. You feel your wine is safe in the kitchen. But no. Stripey tins adorn my shelf; this is all I know, and all my bank balance will allow. The bread has to sit there. Whilst I pick the furry green bits off of it. And my wine suddenly becomes the communal ‘let’s get pissed because we’ve left school and we’re still really poor and jobless’ stash. So I’m hungry, ill, poor and not pissed. This is much worse than being a student.
6. Not being employed is depressing, and the shops are quieter when you proper people are slaving away at the office :p Retail therapy is therefore essential. Only, more depression follows when the snotty hippy behind the Topshop counter smugly refuses your crusty and expired Student ID card. You are old, her eyes say. You are not a student. You do not qualify for 10% off of these over-priced and poorly made garments that you love so much. I however am, she smiles. Because I am a student. And I work here. So that’s alot of discount. None of which I will share with you. Because you are old. And not a student. And because I don’t know you, and that would be weird.
7. People suggest you go on the dole. I understand it’s purpose. I understand I am entitled to it. I know I need it. But however many times you tell me to do it, I will not.
8. Forms. Council tax, bills, jobs applications, my subscription to Look Magazine (which sadly is no longer, because I am too poor for the luxury of £1.80 a week), they all want to know your status. Like this status defines you. And I have to tick ‘Unemployed’. I liked ‘Student’ better. That was a choice. ‘Unemployed’ is not a choice, but that’s what I am, and it just looks like I’m not trying, but I am. I might start NB-ing it: ‘Unemployed- but I don’t want to be…give us a job?’.
9. Other people getting jobs. I’m so happy for you. Just don’t expect me to show it.
10. You write countless covering letters, some official, some creative, some videos, some portfolios of your work. All are a piece of you. You are there on the page/screen, baring your soul, showing what you have to offer the working world. And you get rejected. How can you not take that personally? They don’t like ME. It is me in those applications, the applications that I felt applied to the role and to my ability, my personality, which someone doesn’t like. Rejections are made harder by the fact that they’re mostly generic. I was so rubbish, so generic, that I in turn got a generic response. And sometimes they don’t even reply. Maybe, next time they don’t reply, I’ll turn up at their offices, ready for work, sit down at the nearest desk and give it a go. When questioned, I’ll just tell them I didn’t get the rejection e-mail, so I just assumed I was hired…genius!
11. But what is nice…. I’ve found out what I don’t want to do, and where I don’t want to live, and that I’m getting better at handling rejection to jobs that obviously weren’t right for me anyway. I can read and write all day. I can visit friends. I don’t have to get up, at all, and when I do, guaranteed someone will notice my non-person status and share their nice real grown-up person things with me. I’d still take a job though- any going!?
ratinthecity 